I find it difficult to communicate verbally in stressful, upsetting and tense situations. I end up in shut down. Instead of responding how I need to and staying calm. I feel the intense pressure to communicate verbally, so I talk in a reactive way, whatever I'm thinking about comes out which is often rude, hurtful and very blunt. Which of course makes everything worse between Atrus and myself. Or I just end up crying unable to talk coherently. It's horrible for both of us. We end up reactive and in a vicious cycle of emotions and triggers.
We have made a joint decision to text or email each other when we need to discuss things or when one of us has an issue about something. We will work it out that way. I think this will revolutionize our relationship. I'm feeling incredibly relieved that we worked this out together. It has taken so much pressure off me to not have to talk when I am not able to. I am very grateful that Atrus and I are similar in how we do things.